i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
