Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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