saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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