I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Randomize
