he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
