i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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