You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
