Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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