Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
