Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
