I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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