I wish I could punch you in the face.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
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