She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
