I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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