Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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