sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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