there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
