well most of my day revolves around power hour
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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