oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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