i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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