go do what you do best...puke behind churches
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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