I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
