I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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