1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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