I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
