think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
