We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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