: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
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if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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