I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
