I think I am morally bankrupt
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
