roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
