I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
handjob tips. give me some.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
