He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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