You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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