I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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