its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
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