how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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