She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
