We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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