Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
