somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
How does one acquire holy water?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
