I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
