Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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