Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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