I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
