but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
