you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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