Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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