Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
