Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
