you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
