I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
