is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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