their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
