omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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