i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I need help removing her.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
