I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize